Here we thought we’d motor past Aquinas’ “Five Ways” to prove God exists on our own Way to a secret destination: the much-ridiculed “Argument from Design” (Way #5) … which in turn would allow The God Project Dot Net to spring some startling mental pyrotechnics on the modern world as we engaged, bro-on-bro, with contemporary Evangelical versions of an ancient argument that is still very much alive. We admit it: we were using Aquinas as a springboard to blog-tabulousness, circa 2010.
But old Thomas won’t let us. He’s just too smart. He refuses to be a pixilated pawn in some benighted blogger’s transparent power play. In three words: Aquinas surprised us.
How? Well, okay. Twist our mouse pads already. Here they are:
“Aquinas’ 5 Ways He Surprised Us (with Proofs!)”
Way #1. He was incredibly rich (and fat) – He was born in an actual castle in west-central Italy, now a spectacular mountain-top ruin that looks positively Middle Earthean in its brooding malevolence. His mother was related to the Holy Roman Emperor Frederick II, Henry VI, the Kings of Aragon, Castile and France. His father Landulf’s brother was abbot of Monte Cassino, founded by Benedict himself and still the most famous monastery in the world.
Way #2. He was kidnapped – A noble’s second son, Thomas was supposed to become a Benedictine, maybe abbot of Monte Cassino, but he decided at 19 he’d rather be a Dominican. We think: ho hum. Option (B) or Option (D) – who gives a flying carapace? Here’s what: Dominicans were mendicants, a.k.a., homeless bums. It was like he told his mom after high school he wanted to go to Clown College. No wonder she had Thomas’ brothers “kidnap” him and ground him in the family home(s) for two years while trying to edit his career decision. The story goes his brothers sent a sizzling Italian tamale in to unbuckle his chastity belt but “the pure-minded novice drove the temptress from his room with a brand which he snatched from the fire.” Ouch. Eventually, Thomas was allowed to “escape” through a window and run off to join the circus, I mean, the Dominican order. Life in those days had more drama.
Tomorrow: Ways #3-5!