Say What?

Since the super-powerful Christian Voter Alliance has decided not to send us down to Hell yet, we at the The Dog Project Dot Net — temporarily renamed in honor of the publication of the incredible Bad Dog (A Love Story) — have decided to keep our mojo working.

Here are 20 More Things You Probably Didn’t Know (But Should) About the Bible:

  1. Jesus never mentions homosexuality — pro or con
  2. Jesus never mentions abortion — pro or con
  3. Jesus does talk about divorce and is very clear: Once married, you CANNOT get a divorce; therefore, Evangelicals who get divorced are literally disobeying Jesus while gays are not
  4. Jesus’ “virgin” birth is based on a very early mistranslation of a Hebrew word into Greek; the original word is “young woman” (not necessarily virgin)
  5. There is no evidence Mary was a prostitute or that she and Jesus were more than friends
  6. Jesus’ brother James (yes, brother) didn’t want non-Jews admitted to the sect
  7. We don’t know what happened to Paul or whether he got to Rome
  8. Of the 13 Letters of Paul in the New Testament, only 7 were written by him
  9. It’s the ones Paul didn’t write that contain all the misogyny and homophobia he’s famous for
  10. The Book of Revelation was very controversial in the early years and was omitted from some canons
  11. It was decoded years ago and is about persecutions in Rome under Nero — not about (self-centered) Americans in the 21st century
  12. The Gospel authors do not identify themselves; they are anonymous
  13. They do not claim to be eyewitnesses (in fact, Luke admits he was not)
  14. The earliest Gospel (Mark) was written at least 40 years — two generations — after Jesus’ death
  15. There are a lot of well-known, obvious textual discrepancies among the Gospels that Evangelicals do backflips to reconcile
  16. The Hebrew word at the start of the Bible was mistranslated “In the beginning” — it does not imply time started at that point
  17. Therefore, there is no Biblical reason to believe the Earth is 6,000 years old
  18. There are two totally different stories of how humans were created in Genesis
  19. There are two totally different stories of the Flood . . . and so on
  20. There is no archaeological evidence of anything in the Hebrew Bible before the time of David — or anything in the New Testament at all
Mazel tov, sinners!

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